Two Under a Dark Cloud
by Mara93
Summary: Season 4 slightly AU scene extender for Nathan/Lucas and one important third character during the Daunte storyline


Two Under A Dark Cloud

Rated T: one mild mature scene

_I disclaim._ OTH and its characters are the property and clever creation of Mark Schwahn and company.

This is an extended piece that takes off from a season 4 episode, during the Daunte storyline, when Nathan was basically being threatened. It takes off from the scene where Lucas and Nathan met at the Rivercourt, with some AU.

Story told in first person point of view from one brother…to the next…and then back and forth…

This is a Nathan-Lucas brother story mainly (with one third important character) which I have always loved writing. Just to let you know, I'll be posting more of my one parters, short completed stories, and in progress stories here at the site. Many of them are Nathan-Haley, but some also are based on the brothers because I've always enjoyed their storyline so much.

I have an in progress chapter story too (When Two Worlds Collide) that you can find under my old account username, Mara12, with a heavy emphasis on the brothers and Nathan in particular. Any other OTH related stories I will be posting under this username, Mara93.

Thank you to those who left feedback for my other story, Winter No More. I very much appreciate it!

Finally, I have a fanfiction board that doesn't require membership. The link is in my profile. I have many OTH stories there too for anyone who's interested.

{}

He walks away and I think to myself now…what have I done?

_What have I done?_

Have you ever had a brother? A little brother that's practically the same age as you enough to be your twin and yet…he in true definition is it…_your little brother_. And you're doing what you can to help him because he means well and he does well as much as he can. Do you know how hard it is it to turn him down…_or to say yes?_

Nathan walks away from me now and I throw the ball into the hoop again. In the darkness. With a swish it goes in. It doesn't hit the rim. It doesn't…miss. And yet as it bounces back to me, as that dark car departs into the upcoming clouds, I don't get it. I don't run to catch it. I let it fall. I let it bounce. And with a sigh I sit down on the uneven black turf. And think.

Two years ago I played on this court. I played and my brother paid me a visit. He taunted me and challenged me to a game. Later I invited him to my court. Later I stood beside him, his best man as he married my best friend…again. In between I held him against me as I begged him to hold on. I made him play with me on this court to get him to remember what made him feel good. I walked this court in disgust after a night he and his friends trashed it. I shook my head as he threw the ball far away into the river so it wouldn't affect my heart. So many memories here…back and forth, before and after. Mixed up in no certain order. Was it yesterday I won a game against him for my mom? Was it yesterday he played so hard on me I was panting nearly out of breath before he won it?

I don't know. I'm not sure I can remember now. I just know one thing. He's my brother. And tonight he needed me. So I helped him. And I'll do it again. Tomorrow, next week…in the coming hour. I'll do what he needs me to do. I'll even play lesser for him.

**{}**

Damn. _What am I doing?_ I get back home now after leaving the court. And I see her. This peace enters me that always comes inside when she's there within my sight. I'm tired tonight…inside, not outside. I can't claim the game was rough for me or even a challenge. Because the game itself was nothing like that. But what happened beyond the game, what was hiding away from it, that was exhausting.

I watch her a moment longer. She's got her hand on her stomach. That happens a lot now. I guess it's going to be growing a lot soon too. Something's going to be living there inside her…well actually it is now, but it's still kind of hard to think of it as some living person coming. It's kind of weird. And yet…

_"Hey…"_

She looks up at me now, peacefully invades my thoughts. I smile, meeting hers, and walk over to the sofa where she's sitting. Not even thinking much, I just sit down beside her and wrap my arms gently around her stomach. Hold her against me and…

"I love you Haley."

I can feel her smile at that. She turns around and looks at me curiously, takes my hand and puts it against the flat of her stomach. Without thinking I move my fingers a little.

"You were so good with them. I had a…very interesting day, but they loved you right away."

I look around the room, seeing some of the after effects still there of the two little kids, neighbors of ours, she had spontaneously and excitedly decided to baby-sit right before my game night. It's not that much like Haley to be spontaneous, but once in a while it crops up. And now that she's pregnant she's getting all these tendencies and ways about her. Bringing down all those boxes filled with things that little kids would like. At least she thought so. When I found her trying to get all the stuff down I just wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her back with me telling her to let me get it.

_Looking out for her._

"You did all right. The apartment's still standing at least."

"Barely."

I laugh at that dry comment and hold her closer, kissing her cheek. I want to tell her all these things. I want to tell her she'll be a great mom. I want to tell her she's already the best wife. I want to say all these things to her and yet…

_"Are you okay?"_

She suddenly asks me, cutting through my thoughts. I look sideways and her big brown eyes are questioning my blue ones. I smile at her as reassuringly as I can. I try to smirk it all away. "You should have tried to teach them basketball."

She reacts to that, and I hope she forgets what she was going to say. "Oh…like you? Nathan if I had tried to teach them basketball…"

"The ball would have gone through a window or something."

She hits me for that comment and pouts. I laugh because it's so adorable and also…so hot. My arms have no other want than to hold her closer to me, to gather her as near to me as I can. Because I want to keep her and our child safe. I want to protect them always, make them happy. I want to be the man Haley first challenged me to be when we just started dating. I want to do right by my wife and child. I want to change the crap my father and mother taught me about family, simply by screwing it up so pitifully. I want to show I can be a good dad, stay at my game and…

"Nathan…_what is it?_"

She asks me that question and now I'm caught. The concern is in her deep brown eyes. I don't say anything right away. I just want to look at the face that goes with those distinct eyes. It includes a small nose and lips that curve and end with dimples when she's smiling. But she's not now. She's looking at me with worry. I remember another time she looked at me like this, that night I fell. I held it all in then. I didn't tell anyone what I was feeling, what was happening to me. I probably could have lost her then if she hadn't been the caring individual she is. If she hadn't given me another chance. I couldn't tell anyone I was letting my way be led by the darkness, by artificial enhancements to better my game. I did it all to escape my dad. To be the best so I wouldn't have to hear his nagging mocking voice anymore.

This time when I tried to go to him for help…he turned me down.

Thanks Dad…

_For abandoning me._

"Nathan…"

I hear her plea again, feel her thin and soft fingers on my cheeks, cupping my face in her hands. I close my eyes and hold them there. Needing her touch, her warmth…her…

_"I love you Haley."_ I whisper. "I'll always keep you safe…both of you. I promise."

"Nath-

She starts to say my name, but I gently cut her off, grasping her hands and holding them in my grip. I cut her off with my mouth. I close it over hers and push gently. Bring her body under mine on the couch we're sitting on, soon half laying on. My fingers find the zipper of the jacket she's wearing. I pull it down. Almost impatiently reach my hands under her shirt…feel her warm skin. And it makes my eyes close with feeling…with need. I lay my cheek against it for a second, just needing to feel her, just needing…

_"I love you."_ I whisper again to her questioning eyes, reading the concern still not fully vacated, but it starts to depart as I begin to show her my love. As I rain it down on every inch of skin I'm revealing with my heated lips. My destination filled hands finding every avenue of her body, passionately driving down each curve and straight line. Taking each one with care.

I mean what I've said. I'll always keep them secure and well. I'll take care of my family forever and always. I'll never let them hurt, never take them for granted. I hear her moan as my mouth moves down the intersection of her thighs. _She's the road of my life._ I drive further down it. Feeling her trembling underneath me. That road unsteady and passion filled. She's aching underneath my driving aim. Aching with desire. I love her so much. All I want to do is give her pleasure.

_Hear her…_

She cries out my name as she reaches it…feels it underneath me. I hold her safely, never letting her go, never allowing the dangers of outside to touch her. I'll never let them. I feel her heat. Her glistening from my loving. I move up and hold her against me, lay my head between her breasts and murmur it over and over, how much I love her, how much…

She's so consumed with it now, with what I just gave her, that she doesn't realize…

_I'm seconds away from crying and falling into her arms._

She'll never realize.

Because I push it away.

I hold her strongly. So strongly that I help her get up off the couch and lead her back with me to our bedroom. And now fully we make love. We enter that tunnel that we only know. Driving against each other, into each other…over and over our road of need, ache, and…love.

And this time I cry it out with her. Trying to push it all away.

_That dark cloud that won't seem to leave the shadows of our windows._

**{**later**}**

It's a few hours later. I realize that as I look at the clock just faintly showing the time on the furniture near our bed. She's turned away from me, but her hand is holding mine against her breast. _Her heart._ I want to turn her to face me. I want to wake her, that impatient part of me. But I don't even attempt it. She's sleeping peacefully now, calmly and happily. It's always amazed me how easily Haley can sleep. As long as we're in this bed together she finds it in seconds. It usually takes me a little longer. Though it's always faster when she's beside me. _Always._

Except these nights. When I just want to turn her around…when I…

I smile as she does it for me. She turns in her sleep, her face grimacing, before her cheek finds the perfect place on her pillow, before her body feels the reassuring touch of my hand. And then a slight smile plays across her face….in her deep contented sleep. She's so _beautiful_, Haley. And though I don't use that word much, I've definitely whispered it to her in this bedroom before, as just wanting to lie in bed and look at her has been my want before. She's so easy to look at, and so achingly awesome to look at. I wish I could sleep now like she is. That all this that is nagging at me, that the dark cloud out there would just go away and stop lingering over our peaceful dwelling. That…

_"I love you."_ I whisper now. I've told her this so many times tonight. To her concerned face. To her passion wrapped face. To her loving face. And I mean it. Every time. But tonight there's this desperation in me. This regret and feeling of betraying my own self. Of taking a walk further into the darkness. I do it for her…and yet I feel as if it could part me more from her.

And that scares me. That scares me silly. It makes me shake now. It makes me terrified. _That cloud won't leave._ They're not going to leave. I owe something I have no idea in purgatory how I'm going to get. And yet I'm smart enough to know that it's not over. That I owe now.

That I'm own now.

_"I love you…"_ I whisper with an aching voice, with shaking fingers finding her cheek. One hand finding her stomach. I lay it flat there. I wish that just touching her and loving her could take it all away. Could just make everything come together. But I'm smart enough to know it can't. That the dark cloud out there is just waiting for me, taunting me, whispering…

_"I know we said we'd be honest now…no secrets. But this you don't need to know. I'm going to make it all right. I'm going to get it all to work and be okay."_ I whisper to her now, stroking her face, her warm body…

She doesn't wake. I don't want her to. I don't want her to know how far I've gone. How I'm scared what tomorrow's going to bring.

_"I'm going to protect you both…I promise. Make you both happy. I'm going to take care of my family. I promise Haley."_

I whisper that to her one more time and then get up off the bed. Pull on some clothes, lock the door safely and securely behind me…and run down the empty roads...finding an old one, a dirt one. I know it well. I learned it from someone else. Just a few years ago. And yet still it's so familiar as if I've known it always. Almost like the relationship I share with that person.

I'm running, trying to escape that cloud that won't leave, that refuses to depart. I hate it and just want to escape. But I can't because I owe it something. It's mocking me, chanting.

I shiver. _Will I owe it my soul next?_

Maybe it can take that, but it can't take my heart. It's already been given away to my wife. She protects it. I think of that…of her…and start to run down it, that court, start to race around. Start to pound the ball to the uneven turf. Shoot it through the basket again and again. Racing over that surface. Jumping and throwing. Pounding. Shooting. Making the ball scream as it hits the rim a few times. Making it silent as it cleanly meets the basket. I run back and forth, my knees bent, my stance that of a cougar, I run and shoot. Race and…

_Over and over._ I make that ball find the basket. The sweat dripping off my body. It's been hours and I don't care. I keep it up. I throw it again and again. I ignore the beginning aching in my knees. I just make that ball go in again and again. I ram it into the ground. I…

I fall. Hitting the ground too hard, but I don't care. I don't…

_"Hey."_

A hand finds my shoulder and I immediately startle at it. But then it closes over, it holds on, and with a knowledge that has come in just a few years, I know who it is. I know that…

I can hear my heavy breathing, feel my heart beating fast. I sit there and just let it keep coming out of me. Watch the ball roll away into the darkness.

And then say it. "I didn't want to give that game away tonight Lucas. I've never given a game away like that before."

**{}**

I hear him say it now. My brother, my little brother. _What am I doing here? What is he?_ It's only a few hours away from the moment the darkness will start to lighten and day's morning will begin. But I know that cloud will still be there lurking over his body. "Hey…we still won." I tell him, but I see it in his face. The true definition of what he just said. It might as well have been a loss…the way it was played.

_"You know what I mean Luke."_

He turns around to face me now. A strong look in his eyes on a face that is half dripping with sweat. I wonder now if he went home tonight to his wife. Found comfort from her. From the beginning there was something special about him and her. Even though at the time Nathan had still been planning to get back at me, it's not surprising Haley ended that just by becoming part of his life. She has that effect on so many. On making them like her and want to get to know her more, _want to know themselves more_. In the simplest ways Haley is so beautiful and so when Nathan started going after her at first I was on the defense. I was ready to strike at him if he did anything to her.

I should have known she'd become our center. She'd guide us to each other. And that soon we would both love her equally. _Because we do._ She's my brother's wife. She's my best friend. Both are my family.

"Yeah…I know. But you had to know Whitey wouldn't keep you in the game while you were playing like that…while he had a strategy to keep to."

I see the tightening in the muscles in his arms. The clenching of his jaw. It's killing him. And yet it's only the bottom of what's bothering him now. So much more. _But it starts here._

"I could have won us so many more shots. I could have helped us get a sweeping victory, not a tight one. We had it Luke. I had it. I wanted to win more. I wanted to make it right…make it…"

His voice drifts off. I want to touch his shoulder again. Give him some comfort. But I don't. I just go and follow the ball he let roll away. I bring it back wondering what am I doing here this late at night once again…what is he? My brother has a wife at home who loves him. My brother has all that. Oh how I wanted to not like him at first, to despise him. But it had ended so fast when it became apparent to me. My brother found Haley and never let her go. I've never seen him even hint at straying from her side. He loves her so deeply that when she was away for her tour he nearly exploded outside of himself. He lost it so bad then. Loves her so deeply that he will do anything for her…

_Even…_

I've got the ball. I'm running over the court with it. I'm running around him, challenging him a bit. He's probably tired. He looks it. I'm guessing he's been here for hours. I'm not sure. I only know that halfway through trying to sleep I woke up and had this need to come here…to my court.

_To…our court._

A few more times circling him and then he's up again and playing hard against me. _One on one._ So many one on one games here. The first was bitter and angry, but also honest and deep. It's always been that way. We don't have the kind of brother relationship where we hug each other all the time. We don't have the kind that we talk emotionally. But we're always honest. We're always brutal even if need be. We always give it straight to each other. We've held onto each other's secrets. Because when I have one…I for some reason can't keep it from him. And when he has one…he tells me it. Besides…the few times we've tried to keep secrets it's only hurt.

Nate…is now keeping one of the hardest secrets I think he's ever had to keep. Maybe that's why he threw it at me tonight. Why he told me and yet has not told his wife. I don't think he will. He'll do whatever he has to…to protect her. And tonight I did what I had to…

_To protect him._

We race and circle each other and there is this synchronicity. Nathan didn't want me to be shooting guard when I was first given the position. But now he wishes I was there with him on the court all the time…guarding him. Watching out for him. Keeping the other team away. I wondered once why Whitey thought this was my position. Why I could handle it better than my little brother could. I wondered once what would make me do it right.

But slowly I have begun to get it. To understand it. My brother plays the star on the court. He's like a wild flaunting cat, strutting his stuff. With such finesse and spark, he gets his point across. He plays his game. With such drive and intensity he runs down that court…he slams that ball into the basket, holding it with his unyielding hands. Making sure that ball knows where its home is. My brother gets that more than anyone I've known. He works hard at it yeah…but when he's on that court…he makes it look effortless.

So wild and carefree. He doesn't watch out for the possible coming predator. For the foe that is ready to catch him when he's for one second not focused. Ready to steal his stealth. _And that's where I come in._ That's what Whitey wanted me for. That's what he knew I could do better than anyone. Because I guess I was born to guard. To look out for those I love and care about. Maybe that's why I can't decide between two women. Even though my heart has already made the decision, it's not enough to convince that one that I could love her. Not when I'm always locking so much inside myself, not when I'm too busy looking out for the world.

Now as my brother and I fight for that ball…I'm aware he's the opposite. He's my other side. _He cares only for one._ Though we have a good relationship, I'm no fool. I know if there was a sinking ship, and all the people in his life were on that ship…and he could only save one. I know the one person he'd save right away. First and foremost. Even passing me by. But if it was me…I'd waste too many seconds probably deciding who to save…agonizing at that I couldn't save them all. It would be what would murder me. Not the drowning waters.

_I'm shooting guard because Whitey knows I protect all._ I'm the caring bear who has too hard a time deciding who matters the most that I protect everyone that is part of me. On that court I protect the one with the ball…and usually that is my brother. That is why I'm the big brother and he's the little, even with the truth that there are not even years between us, only months. When he has that ball in his hands I guard him with all that's in me. _I don't let anyone get it._ Steal his victory. I remain his wall until that ball has found its proper home.

Maybe that's why as fun as it is to play one on one with him I'm grateful it's no longer with acridness that we play. Because it was too hard for me to keep that up. I don't want to hate him. I'm glad I never have. Not even when he was supposedly my enemy. I didn't trust him. I didn't like him…but I've never hated him.

And when he began to love her, my best friend, I was jealous in a friendship type way for a while. I was angry. But that soon passed as I saw what he brought to her. No one has made my best friend shine with happiness more. _No one._ I swear it's like they were put on this planet just to be with each other. I've never seen love more strongly than in them…except maybe with my Uncle Keith and my mom…but Nathan and Haley are something rare. And they've gone through a lot, but they haven't let it get them down or pull them apart. They're so incredibly young to be married and yet they seem pros at it sometimes. I'm proud of them both really.

It's another factor to it all. Why he means so much to me. Because I could never fully accept someone into my life probably that was mean or hurtful to Haley. My brother is the exact opposite of that. I have no doubt…he'd do it all for her. He is now…

He…

_He's panting heavily._ He was playing before I got here…for I don't know how long, but now I can see the stress and exertion getting to him. I let him win though. I stay back as he gets the ball to the basket one more time before he lets his head fall to his knees…

And it rolls away again. Departs us for the darkness. I look at him for a moment before I pull somewhat at his arm.

_"Come on…"_

**{}**

Lucas holds at my arm. I quietly shrug it away after a moment and then walk with him to the grassier area of the court, where it sits right by the river. It's quieter here…and dark. But peaceful really. That night I came here way back to trash the court, for one moment I just kind of stood here at the river banks and looked at it with a sort of wonder…_before I upturned a garbage can_.

I think of it now with a slight frown as the dim lights shine down upon us, the moon not as strong as it was earlier. I was so lost then, so unfocused on what really mattered. I didn't know anything about family or love. I learned none of it from my parents. All I cared about was winning and it didn't matter what way I had to do it…just as long as I could claim victory in the end. The problem was…that was never satisfying. One wild party and maybe equally wild night…and then came the waking. Every next morning the high totally gone. As I sat there with bitterness, holding my aching head, and wondering what the crap I was so happy about the night before.

_Because it never stayed._ My temporary false enjoyment was always stolen from me the next morning. A happiness I never had any true claim to…because it was a total lie.

I know now why. I know why it never stayed or lasted. So much was missing from my life then…I realize now. It was never enough because I had nothing I could really hold onto or care about. No one really loved me enough to make me feel safe and secure. I didn't love anyone else enough to want to protect that person…until now.

_Until…_

I look at my brother, Lucas, for a second, see his face partly lit up. It's a simple face. And yet it's an expressive one. He seems to not be smiling now and I think about it. What I asked of him tonight. What I made him do for me…what I practically begged of my brother.

He gets it though. _How much I love her._ He's never made a big deal about that it's too much or anything. Because see…Lucas loves Haley too. It's a unique thing about us. It's kind of weird maybe to some, but it's something we share. And actually I think that makes us even closer. I respect that Lucas was wary of me at first because he was looking out for his best friend. I understand why he couldn't accept me right away. I'm thankful he cared enough to look out for Haley.

That the day of the shooting all I had to say was one word…one name. _And he got it._ He knew why I had to go into that building. That tonight when I asked him to play not his best…he agreed…after I told him it was because I had a wife to look out for…a coming child.

And yet tonight I asked something of him he would never ask of me. Or never has anyway. Lucas could have played the weak one, the selfish one…and wished me to play worse after he left the team. But my brother would never do anything like that. He has too much integrity…too much…

"I know you hated it tonight. Doing that. Not making that free throw that we both know you could have made with your eyes blindfolded. So thanks."

I don't say much more than that. I'm not one for giving big grand gratitudes, even though I know what he did…probably felt pretty awful. After all, Lucas hasn't been able to play most the season. When he is there…it's only for a limited amount of time. That could have been his chance to shine and he gave it away just to…to hold them off. To…

"I'll make it up to you. I know you're unhappy about it and that you wanted to have that moment to give it your all. I know that Luke because you and I…we never play any less. Oh I used to sometimes…just to get at my dad, but then after-

_"What if they go after Haley?"_

My words freeze as that question is asked. I stare at him. But it's just his profile. Until…

"_Have you thought of that?_ What if they use her to hurt you…to make you pay it fast-

My blood goes cold. It stalling inside me now, that dark cloud ever closer, that…

"Shut up Luke. _Just shut up._"

**{}**

I laugh dryly, but then see his face, see that he is shaking and yet trying to stall it, to not reveal it. I try to soften my expression, but my words are no less severe. I shake my head at him. "Damn Nate…It wasn't the game. Sure it meant a lot to me. _But don't you get it?_ That's not why I got upset."

"You said never again."

I look at him with amazement, my eyes wide. "YEAH! Never again let you do that. Let you put yourself into that kind of danger. _But have you thought of it?_ They're watching your every move. They know who matters to you. Who you love. Nathan what if she's their next target…what if-

_"Don't."_

I hear him whisper it painfully, and then cement it with more angry words. He's looking at me viciously, but inside is the pain and the fear of what he could be getting himself into. Of knowing he's already entered this deep. I shake my head. "Nate…don't you see? With guys like them it's just a game. That's the best part for them. The sickest part. They WANT you to owe them money…so they can OWN you. They want to pull your strings and watch you prance around doing whatever they make you do. You said how it was it…that they didn't make you give up the game. You think they won't next time…you think they'll be all nice when you can't pay? You think they won't think of going after what matters to you most? Nate I'm scared for you. And…I'm scared for her."

I wait for him to take in those words. His face is white, his fists clenched, but he doesn't strike out at me. He doesn't push at me. He just sits there…_trapped_. Knowing what I'm saying is not lies, but a horrifying and disgusting possibility.

"I couldn't tell her Luke. I couldn't tell her my dad wouldn't give me the money."

I hear his quiet words now and turn to his troubled face. "Why?"

He looks at me now with questioning before he starts to blurt it out.

"Because Luke…she needs me. She's depending on me. She was so upset when we couldn't pay for stuff. She even cried one night Luke. And don't you get it…they're…she's…both of them…they're my family Luke. I have to be the one to keep them safe. It has to be me. They depend on me. I'm not going to let them down. Haley was so strong when I first met her. She still is, but now she needs me to be in charge…she needs to know she can depend on me…and I can't let her down. She's pregnant Luke. I have a family to think about…and she works already and everything. It's my turn. I have to do this."

I watch him get more upset. See his forehead wrinkling with worry lines, the tension hitting at his cheeks.

"I'm not going to be the kind of dad…my dad was. I'm not going to let my wife down. They're my family Luke! Sure the basketball is cool and everything, but Haley and the baby comes first. I wouldn't have anything without them. I'm not going back to my life before she was in it. I'm not being that way again Luke. I used to get into all kinds of trouble because I didn't care. I didn't give a frickin' care about anything. But I care now…I love her and I'm not going to let anyone hurt her. You told me that they might…_well they won't_. Because I won't let them…no one's going to hurt Haley so just shut up about it. I'm going to protect her always. No one's going to touch her. _So just shut up_."

He delivers all his words viciously, furiously, but the last sentence is weak and trembling. He's scared too. I want to be nice and make him feel better. _But what can I make him feel better about?_ He has to hear the truth of this. Nathan has never sugar coated anything for me. He doesn't believe in that. Nathan is probably one of the most brutally honest people I know. And yet I respect him for that. He will only respect truth from me, not empty reassurances.

"But how are you going to get the money? That kind of money, and you don't even work. How do you expect to do it?"

I wait for him to answer me, but he says nothing. He has no clear cut answers. I sigh and look away from him, down to the river. The waters are peaceful and yet that cloud lurks over my brother. It doesn't' seem to want to leave him tonight. As his head hangs down now, one hand stressfully moving his hair back. He doesn't look at me. His eyes stay on the ground.

I could keep being harsh about it, continue the questions, but the thing is my brother isn't doing any of this selfishly, except for maybe wanting to be the one who protects his wife and child. _He's doing it all for them._ As much as he wanted Duke I know he wasn't going to force it if Haley hadn't gotten in. He only made it a certainty when Haley told him she wanted to go with him.

"Nate…" I start to say, start to bring my hand out and place it on his shoulder, but he gets up and my hand is left to fall away. Taking one last look at me, his expression lost and forlorn, he walks away…picks up the ball and returns to the court.

_And I swear that cloud follows him._

**{}**

Back at the court now I make the ball hit its destination. My hands are shaking, but I do all I can to make the basket, to make it go in. I hate what he just said now. Luke, my brother. He's always too damn sensible and condescending all at the same time. I really was irked about that when I first started getting to know him. I used to despise it, but now it just hits me too raw and open. I don't want to think of what he's said, but he knows that I can't deny it. That it's bothered me too. I have no idea what I'm going to do. All I know is I'm going to protect Haley. And my child. I'm going to take care of them and keep them safe and happy.

_"Nate…"_

I shake my head, throwing the ball back in again, and then catch it, hold it. I look out to the distance, to that river we were just sitting at. "You remember I told you that I saw Keith…when the accident happened…that I saw him in the water?"

I can see from the corner of my eye he nods his head, but only answers with one word.

"Yeah."

"Well I didn't get that at first. Why I saw Keith in the water. Why he was there…until…until just a little while after Haley told me she was pregnant. Then I got it. Why I made it out of there. Why I'm here and alive and…why that miracle happened to me Luke. Because of them…Haley and the baby. _I'm here for them._ You know the basketball makes me feel so damn alive. It feels so great to be on that court, but Luke no one has ever made me feel happier…or complete…than Haley. _No one_."

I look to see his reaction. He's smiling slightly, underneath a frown.

"I know that Nate."

I nod my head, swallowing, holding the ball still. "Yeah…well then you get it. I don't know how I'm going to get the money Luke, _but I'm going to get it_. And I'm going to keep them safe. That miracle happened in that water Luke for me to be here for them. I'm not taking that for granted. You know when I worked at the dealership after Haley and I got married the first time, Keith taught me a lot of things about cars and everything. But he talked to me too and…I learned what meant the most to him. Family…and Keith always made that first. Looking out for the people he loved. Like how he loved your mom, Luke. And you were like a son to him." I say the words carefully…pause now as I see the wetness in my brother's eyes. It hasn't been that long…only months since his death.

I watch him look up for a second, trying to deny the tears that want to escape his eyes. And he's pretty successful at it. As he looks back down, across to me, and his eyes are still dry…mostly. "He was going to adopt me. I think I told you before. I was going to be his son…officially. I loved him as if he were my dad."

He puts a hand in front of his heart, gesturing.

_"In here…he was."_

I nod my head, consciously keeping my expression supportive. I frown and walk over to him, put a hand on his shoulder for one fast moment. "I know Luke. I know why you'd want him to be your dad too. I'm sorry…it's just…"

He shakes his head, lifts his hand. "No…forget it…just what are you getting at?"

I pause…before speaking. I have so much I want to say to defend myself, to make this all okay, but that cloud still has not gone. When the sun comes up I'll still owe…_be own_.

"Keith did what he had to for those he loved. And it was him I saw in the water Luke. And I didn't get why at first…but now I think maybe he was telling me to be brave, to not give up, to get out of that water and go be Haley's husband, be a father…be the one who protects her and our child. To live like he lived. He always looked out for those he loved. Luke you do too…and I have to do that for the two who matter the most to me. _My family, Luke._ Because you know…I didn't have that before Haley. I had no family…not a real one anyway…with my mom always away and my dad just wanting to clone me into him. I didn't have any of that before Haley. And she encouraged us to talk and get along. You're my family too Luke…but…Haley…Ha-

**{}**

He stops there…and doesn't say anymore. I'm still half emotional after him mentioning Keith. It's where I got this protective instinct from. It's probably where my brother inherited it from too. It's different in both of us. I spread it around. My brother keeps it to a small place. But that day he tried to save his uncle…another part of it was added to him. A part that spread further, even beyond his wife. And yet that day he nearly lost his life. My brother trying to save someone other than Haley…_and he nearly came up without breathing_.

Maybe the truth is Keith did save him by appearing to him in that water, reminded him what was important. Why he had to live. Maybe that's Keith's gift to us. Because my brother is even a gift. I never felt I needed him before. I went through life without him easily. But now I can't even imagine my life without him. And he's hurting now. He's scared.

**{}**

He says nothing. I wait, but he says nothing. I shudder, but decide to end it there. I'm used to this. My parents never came through on anything. My brother doesn't owe me anything anyway. I owe him if anything. I…

"I've got to take care of them…however that happens…that's what I'm going to do…Luke." I wait for another second. He says nothing. I nod my head and start to leave.

**{}**

Damn that stupid dark cloud hovering over him. Lurking and not leaving him alone. I wish I could just push it away. Blow it away. I want to say the right thing. I want to end this. Before it moves down lower. Before it…

He's leaving. He's going away now. He's walking, his back turned to me. He's…

_"Nate!"_

**{}**

I stop at the voice. I wait. Not expecting anything. I have no right to.

_"I got your back Nate."_

I close my eyes at those words. Stop, unable to move. All I can do is utter a few words…that are too frighteningly honest. I knew when that game ended tonight and I looked up into the bleachers it wasn't over. I know the next time I come to this court they're going to drive by. I know that this darkness is not going to stop following me until I pay up…

With their money…

And if I can't pay that way…

_"I'm scared Luke."_

Maybe my so-

His words cut off my thoughts.

"I know…but uh…you know that black cloud that won't leave you alone…"

**{}**

I say it now, start to say it. He turns around, looks at me curiously. I know he's scared…he's just admitted it to me. I know he's afraid of how far they'll make him go. I know he has no way of knowing how he can get the money to pay them back. I know my little brother…needs me to be the big one now.

Even if he's too damn stubborn to admit it.

_"Push it over my way. I'll take half the load."_

**{}**

I stare at him. _How can he know? How can he see it?_ No one else can. How can my brother see it? Know what I'm feeling? How? I look up at him with bewilderment, but his eyes are just quietly smiling at me. He's just got that lopsided grin that turns to a squint. I laugh at it suddenly, letting it take away some of the darkness of this night. Half and half. Maybe that's what brothers are.

He laughs too now, grabs the ball away from me and lays it into the basket. I snicker as it bounces back out. "Pitiful Luke."

"Better than you played most the night. Now that was pitiful!"

I'm upset at his words at first, before I see another squinting smile cross his face. I shake my head at him with a smirk. "Bet I can beat you here and now."

**{}**

I shake my head with another of my smiles, meeting his customary smirk. "You got to get home. Haley's going to wake up and you're not even going to be there."

He just smirks at me again.

"Oh…I wasn't planning on playing that long…just about ten minutes and I should have it in the bag." He runs over to the basket and slams the ball in…his totally customary way…with both hands gripping the basket after.

"You're on!" I answer…and it is on. _The game_…meant to push away the game that was played earlier this night. A game that my brother and I both gave up in a way we never have given up a game played together. Now we play against each other…but there's no real against. It's all in fun. It's all in answer to the troubles of this night. Because this is how my brother and I have always been bonded. In Haley…_and in this ball_. He gets my love for this game as he has it too. And she understands that of both of us. Maybe that's why it wasn't that hard to stop being against each other. To become real brothers. There's too much we share to be able to deny.

So now we play. He smirks and I squint. We laugh and push at each other. Just a ten minute quick game…and yet the winner won't matter.

_We both win this night._

As we push away that cloud together.

Maybe not forever. But at least for now.

It can't hold us in its grip.

I know he's still scared and concerned. And I know now that I know his secret I'll work with him to get it solved. To deal with it.

_Because I'm his big brother._

And any dark cloud that lurks over him…

Will have to deal with me too.

___{}_

I cheer loudly as the game nears its end…and then he steals the ball from me again. I'm not sure who's going to be the actual real true winner, but it doesn't matter. He's done it again. When Haley left for a while Luke took me here and made me play with him. _Play our game._ And it made me smile that night.

It made me feel a little braver. I don't like to admit it much…but I need him sometimes almost as much as I need Haley. I'm happy he's my brother.

I'm happy this game bonds us.

I'm happy he's lifting part of that cloud away…

That on this court…

_Our court…_

For one long moment…

We can actually chase it away.

_The End._

Thank you for reading. Feedback is always appreciated.


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